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September 21, 2007

"I am not a lesbian! I am a free man!"

aheartbreakerhill.jpg
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman!"

Untold thousands of Americans suffering Lesbian Bed Death had their hopes for a cure crushed today when Presidential hopeful Hillary revealed that she was not, at long last, one of them after all.

Hillary Clinton: "I'm not a lesbian."

aclinton_laughing.jpg

At the same time, tens of millions of Americans suffering from Heterosexual Bed Death were not feeling all that well either.

Sean Kennedy, the gay magazine's news and features editor, asked the presidential candidate, "How do you respond to the occasional rumor that you're a lesbian?"....

Sen. Clinton (D-N.Y.) replied. "It's not true, but it is something that I have no control over."

Kennedy told the Daily News he's convinced. "I 100% believe she's a straight, heterosexual woman," he said.

The followup question, "Are you gay?," was not asked.

Also unprobed in the interview was the persistent Internet rumor that she was in an ebay bidding war with her husband for BARBRA STREISAND'S VERY SHEER RED BRA .

Developing....

Posted at 12:15 PM in The Marching Morons |

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